For a while now I’ve been wanting to come back and say hello, but the idea of catching you up on my last year-and-a-half has been daunting, for a lot of reasons. The quick story is, on February 17th, 2017, a car fell on my head. That’s the easiest way for me to come to terms with the fact that I’ve spent the last 19 months recovering from a severe concussion, and my whole world has been flipped upside down and back again just like my car when my tire blew out on the highway going 75 miles per hour early one Friday morning.
I have lots of stories to share with you. I do still cook and bake and it’s been part of my healing, so of course I would love to pass on those recipes to you when I can. But I’ve also spent an incredible amount of time on my own these last many months, with more time in my own head than most people ever get a chance to have. My busy is very different than other people’s busy these days, and that is something I’m learning to live with. It allows me time for reflection, time to be with my family, time to appreciate the beauty of my life. This isn’t where I thought I would be, but I am more grateful than I can ever tell you to be alive and to be surrounded by family and friends who continue to love and support me as I discover my new path.
While I do hope to post to this blog on a regular basis sometime soon, I would like to direct you over to Instagram where I have been hanging out for a while. Honestly, it’s just been easier for me. As some of you know, one of my challenges since my accident has been continued issues with my visual system. Because of it, and a whole host of other symptoms that are totally awesome and fun, I haven’t gone back to interpreting yet, I’m not driving on my own, and I’m not a big fan of being on the computer. Oddly enough though, the small screen of my phone is easier for me to navigate, and so Instagram has been more accessible. I also have found a community on there of other people dealing with concussions, post-concussion syndrome, and traumatic brain injury and the support I find there has been really important to me on a daily basis. While I used to scroll through and just see one gorgeous photo of cookies after another, my feed is now filled with motivational quotes related to healing and personal stories from people in similar situations as well as advice and guidance, which has led to conversations and connections. So what you will see over there in my posts very well might be the cookies I’ve made, or the conversation with my kids, or me pouring my heart out about how much it sucks when your brain doesn’t work and all of a sudden you’re the patient instead of the professional in the room, in the same damn room in the same damn hospital where you used to work. I’m not sure yet. Because I am not sure about a lot of things. And you’ll see me tagging my posts with all sorts of concussion hashtags, and it isn’t so that I’m constantly trying to remind you to “look at me! I have something to complain about!” but rather as a way to connect with a community I have found. There may be a new Instagram account that is just concussion related sometime in the near future, but for the moment I still feel like Tasty Oasis is a place I want to be. I still find comfort in my kitchen. It still gives me peace. It has helped me return to me.
Most importantly, I want to thank you. We want to thank you. Thank you for all of the cards, texts, calls, emails, meals, rides, prayers, good vibes, and love you have sent to me and my family over the last year and a half. I have been lousy at returning calls, emails, and writing thank you cards, but we are eternally grateful.
I do hope to connect or reconnect with you soon, here, through Instagram, or in real life. (Imagine! Real life!!!) I have tended to isolate at times during my recovery. Sometimes out of necessity because of feeling unwell, or my rehab schedule, or because I just want to save all my energy for my kids, and sometimes because I am mad and cranky and pissed at the world. And sometimes I am busy eating cookie dough and don’t want to explain myself. And then there’s the problem that sometimes phone calls make my headaches spike, my eyeballs can be jerks, and I can’t handle noisy or crowded environments so meeting for lunch just hasn’t been an option. Lately it’s been a combination of all of those things, so please know my lack of response is never personal, I’m just getting through my days.
I wish you all a healthy fall, with safe driving, tasty food on your table, and the clarity to see how good your life is because you have it,
**And I do want to apologize to those of you who have been coming to the blog for recipes and have had to deal with a cumbersome printing situation, or any other technical difficulties. Since I have been gone there have been changes to some stuff behind the scenes that I haven’t had the abilities to handle. I’ll get there. Thanks for your patience.